Sunday, March 28, 2010

Oh Gathright, we hardly knew ye

Today marks an incredibly sad day for the Toronto Blue Jays organization. The scintillatingly (did I just make up a word?) epic career of Joey Gathright as a Blue Bird is now over. Gathright was given his unconditional release today by the club, so excuse me while as I release a steady stream of tears. It's OK, feel free to break out the kleenex. You'll feel better afterwards.

When all you have is speed, as with the case of Gathright, then you better show it off at all times. Like this guy. Or better yet, this dude. The problem is, if you can't ever get on base because you are an awful hitter, then you're kind of screwed. Sorry bro.

Gathright (or is it Cartwright?) was trying to impress the team's brass enough to earn a spot as a bench player this season. It would've been a match made in heaven by all accounts. You know, because Gathright has had a storied career to date. But he was dreadful in the spring, hitting a pathetic .167 in 43 plate appearances. There goes that idea. Even Gregg Zaun could do better than that. I think.

So that ends the chapter of Joey Gathright's remarkably historic career with the Toronto Blue Jays. It's a devastating time for Jays nation. Now excuse me once again while I yearn for the glory days of Eric Hinske and Russ Adams in Toronto.

A stench emanating from Edwin Encarnacion

Edwin "E5" Encarnacion is allegedly healthy and on track to start at third base for the Jays this season. I'd be OK with that, except E5 racks up errors seemingly for the hell of it. Even this guy is better at fielding a baseball. The creaky and not as old as you think (27) Encarnacion has just got back to playing ball following surgery on his wrist. He's going to be fine this year, right? Wrong.

This injury already has a stench so rancid emanating from it that it's time to break out the axe body spray. I can see it now; a blistering .210 batting average, a razzle dazzle grand total of 8 home runs and a paltry RBI total of 35, all the while inventing new ways to airmail first base by five miles. Then we'll find out sometime in the winter that he was a hurt bag all season. Vernon Wells anyone?

Another plausible scenario is he'll be on and off the DL all year. That will force Jose Bautista to third base, ensuring Adam Lind and Travis Snider ample opportunities to run circles in the outfield and give career minor leaguer Randy Ruiz a chance to show everyone exactly why he hasn't been in the big leagues in 11 years. Maybe I'm too cynical. After all, Edwin does have one hit in nine at bats this spring.

Then again, considering this buffoon traded for him in the Scott Rolen deal last July, would we expect anything different?

(Note: Toronto Blue Jays Way realizes J.P. Ricciardi consummated a good trade by also netting prospects Zach Stewart and Josh Roenicke in the Rolenpalooza. However, in the interests of ripping him at all costs, it must be pointed out that he sucks. Big time.)