Vernon Wells crank show continues

What more is there to say about Vernon freaking Wells? V-Diddy is on an absolute tear to start the season after cranking out two more home runs against the Rangers tonight. I almost feel like I shouldn't continue to mention how Wells (pun intended!) he's doing for fear that Vernon, a staunch reader of Toronto Blue Jays Way, will get a swelled head and start resting on his laurels, leading him to stink like he has the past two years.

Wells' two dinger night against the Rangers pushes his total on the campaign to 3 in just the first 2 games, putting him on record pace for an astounding 243 long flies! But wait, there's more. In two games, Wellsy (how come it's way easier to think of catchy nicknames for Vern Diesel than any other Blue Jay) already has matched the home run total he amassed in the first 17 such outings in '09! Not only that, but Verny mashed two tators in one game for the first time since September 28th, 2008! That's a lot of firsts! And a lot of exclamation marks!

Being from Texas, Wells has a lot of family and friends that come watch him at the Ball Park in Arlington. Most notably, his dad was there for both games. So it's pretty obvious someone must capture him and bring him to every single Jays game all season. Who's up for the task?

Note: Though I'm sure it was already incredibly obvious, Vernon Wells does not read this blog. I think. Nor has he ever heard of it. I think. But what do I know? Nothing. I think.